{"id":451,"date":"2017-10-02T13:46:18","date_gmt":"2017-10-02T20:46:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/?p=451"},"modified":"2017-10-02T14:11:03","modified_gmt":"2017-10-02T21:11:03","slug":"superman-for-a-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/?p=451","title":{"rendered":"Superman for a Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

Superman for a Day\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong><\/h3>\n

(It ain\u2019t what it\u2019s all cracked up to be)<\/p>\n

\u201cLook!<\/p>\n

Up in the sky!<\/p>\n

Is it a bird?<\/p>\n

Is it a plane?<\/p>\n

No, it\u2019s Superman!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Was all we needed to hear<\/p>\n

to drop everything<\/p>\n

and run en chinga<\/p>\n

to grab a front row seat<\/p>\n

on the cold linoleum floor<\/p>\n

in front of the black and white console<\/p>\n

Los jefitos had bought at La segunda<\/p>\n

with some of our hard earned feria<\/p>\n

from la ciruela up in San Jos\u00e9.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At first commercial,<\/p>\n

I rummaged through Mom\u2019s caj\u00f3n<\/p>\n

until I found Abuelito\u2019s old<\/p>\n

anteojos with the missing lens,<\/p>\n

grabbed my jefito\u2019s hat<\/p>\n

and old tacuche de salir<\/p>\n

and sat back down<\/p>\n

with my straight<\/p>\n

Clark Kent face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Second commercial<\/p>\n

found me outside<\/p>\n

como pendejo<\/p>\n

staring down the blazing<\/p>\n

summer sun until<\/p>\n

all I saw were black spots.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By the end of the episode<\/p>\n

I yanked my older brother\u2019s<\/p>\n

neatly ironed red P.E shorts<\/p>\n

from his pile of ironed clothes<\/p>\n

and slapped them on<\/p>\n

along with one of la jefita\u2019s<\/p>\n

store bought blue towels<\/p>\n

that served as my cape.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I shoved Jimmy Olson<\/p>\n

and Lois Lane to the floor<\/p>\n

when my skinny older brother<\/p>\n

and younger tattle-tale sister<\/p>\n

protested that they<\/p>\n

were going to tell.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tan Tar\u00e1n, Tan Tar\u00e1n,<\/p>\n

Tan Tar\u00e1n, Tar\u00e1n, Tar\u00e1n, Tar\u00e1n<\/p>\n

TARAN!<\/p>\n

I flew out the back door<\/p>\n

to look for my next victim.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I used one of Mom\u2019s best lonas<\/p>\n

that she would use in the winter<\/p>\n

to protect her fruit trees from the frost,<\/p>\n

climbed up to the roof of the house<\/p>\n

and used la lona as a parachute<\/p>\n

to jump on chiple Neck Dirty<\/p>\n

as he rode his new Schwinn bicycle<\/p>\n

eating a Good Humor Ice Cream.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I took three good bites<\/p>\n

before Neck Dirty knew what happened<\/p>\n

and pedaled away screaming for his dad<\/p>\n

as if he had seen La Llorona!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His snobbish father came out to the wrought-iron gate,<\/p>\n

made a gesture with his index finger<\/p>\n

as he adjusted his company-issued binoculars,<\/p>\n

but didn\u2019t come over<\/p>\n

cause he was the regadores\u2019 night foreman<\/p>\n

and Superman\u2019s parents worked days.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Swishshshshshshshshshshshsshshshshsh,<\/p>\n

I then flew into Do\u00f1a Luz\u2019 garden,<\/p>\n

snatched a couple of vine ripe melons,<\/p>\n

and had to high tail it out en chinga<\/p>\n

over her chicken wire fence<\/p>\n

as her two vicious German shepherds<\/p>\n

snapped at my cape.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-\u00a1Cabr\u00f3n malcriado!<\/p>\n

\u00a1Le voy a decir a tu mam\u00e1!<\/p>\n

\u00a1Vas a ver!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling that I had caused enough damage,<\/p>\n

and that my jefitos would soon be home from the fields,<\/p>\n

I stepped into our outhouse behind the nopales<\/p>\n

to change back into Abuelito\u2019s glasses,<\/p>\n

my jefito\u2019s tacuche and hat<\/p>\n

to go back inside the house<\/p>\n

as mild mannered Clark Kent.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I became a little nervous<\/p>\n

when I saw Do\u00f1a Luz<\/p>\n

waddle back across the street<\/p>\n

and Neck Dirty\u2019s dad<\/p>\n

park his late model car<\/p>\n

in the detached garage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t even closed the door<\/p>\n

by the time la jefa<\/p>\n

slapped the glasses<\/p>\n

and the hat off my face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I tried to fly away<\/p>\n

but her kryptonite laced<\/p>\n

cotton plant vara<\/p>\n

was too quick<\/p>\n

and got the best of<\/p>\n

the back of my legs<\/p>\n

rendering me flightless.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00bfCon qu\u00e9 te crees muy Superman?<\/p>\n

\u00a1Ya me dieron la queja los vecinos!<\/p>\n

Swish, swish, swish, swish<\/p>\n

se o\u00eda la vara against my legs,<\/p>\n

arms, and back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next day<\/p>\n

my skinny older brother<\/p>\n

and my younger tattle-tale sister<\/p>\n

no aguantaban la risa<\/p>\n

as they tried to explain to chiple Neck Dirty<\/p>\n

that it was okay to come to our house.<\/p>\n

Superman had only been there for a day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Salvado Por La Pura Suerte<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 (Saved by Lady Luck)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

El Huev\u00f3n,<\/p>\n

Tanates,<\/p>\n

Huevos,<\/p>\n

El R\u00e1pido,<\/p>\n

La M\u00e1quina<\/p>\n

were all sobrenombres<\/em> given to<\/p>\n

slow picking Ernesto Hern\u00e1ndez,<\/p>\n

a young tartamudo from poverty stricken<\/p>\n

El Rancho de la Buena Suerte<\/p>\n

by his six older roommates<\/p>\n

from the bracero sweat stained city<\/p>\n

of P\u00e9njamo, Guanajuato.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All the other veteranos<\/em><\/p>\n

would gather around<\/p>\n

the makeshift kitchen table<\/p>\n

and bullshit one another<\/p>\n

as to who was El M\u00e1s Ching\u00f3n<\/em><\/p>\n

as they boasted who could<\/p>\n

plant<\/p>\n

prune<\/p>\n

pick<\/p>\n

or pack<\/p>\n

anything and everything that grew<\/p>\n

within a one hundred mile radius<\/p>\n

from Huron on the West Side<\/p>\n

of the San Joaqu\u00edn Valley.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

T\u00fan T\u00fan, who measured<\/p>\n

a shade under four feet,<\/p>\n

claimed the planting title.<\/p>\n

All agreed since T\u00fan T\u00fan<\/p>\n

was so low to the ground.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Cabr\u00f3n T\u00fan T\u00fan va plantando parado<\/p>\n

cuando uno va en chinga todo empinado,<\/p>\n

one of the campesinos complained<\/p>\n

as he rubbed alcohol on his aching back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

El Sabio, the only primaria<\/em> graduate of the group,<\/p>\n

claimed to be El Mero Mero de las Tijeras<\/em><\/p>\n

y del Ingl\u00e9s.<\/p>\n

-En dos por tres<\/p>\n

trasquilo al pinche \u00e1rbol<\/p>\n

y hasta les aviento totacha en Ingl\u00e9s,<\/p>\n

Who\u2019s next? he would gesture nastily<\/p>\n

with his arms and pelvis<\/p>\n

to draw a laugh from the vatos.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Manos\u2019 claim to fame was that he could<\/p>\n

pick and pack more fruit than anyone<\/p>\n

within a one hundred mile radius<\/p>\n

from their hometown of P\u00e9njamo.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Pa\u2019 piscar y para empacar no hay dos!<\/p>\n

Manos would boast as he would puff<\/p>\n

on a Marlboro and blow out<\/p>\n

a cloud of thick smoke<\/p>\n

towards the dim kitchen light bulb<\/p>\n

daring the others to challenge his claim.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Several of the others argued for hours on end<\/p>\n

as to where they ranked on the farm worker hierarchy.<\/p>\n

All except for El Huev\u00f3n<\/p>\n

who was dead last in everything.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Huevos tiene huevonada hasta pa\u2019 hablar,<\/p>\n

Manos would tease and mimic Ernesto<\/p>\n

stuttering and stammering.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ernesto would only stutter and stammer<\/p>\n

in an effort to respond but would<\/p>\n

give up as the men laughed at him<\/p>\n

a carcajadas<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All the men dreamed out loud<\/p>\n

as to what they would do with their earnings<\/p>\n

pa\u2019 la pr\u00f3xima Navidad<\/p>\n

back in P\u00e9njamo<\/p>\n

once they saved up enough feria.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Manos talked about opening a small restaurant<\/p>\n

and naming it El Mel\u00f3n<\/em> or La Uva.<\/em>.<\/p>\n

El Sabio dreamed about going back to school<\/p>\n

to hook up with the girl of his dreams.<\/p>\n

-Me lo jur\u00f3 que me iba a esperar!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Huevos didn\u2019t share anything<\/p>\n

since he caught hell from everyone<\/p>\n

for being the slowest in everything.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Pinche Huevos,<\/p>\n

a veces no gana ni para el ride,<\/p>\n

Manos would take the lead<\/p>\n

to open up on El R\u00e1pido.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Pinche Huev\u00f3n,<\/p>\n

le da huevonada hasta pa\u2019 ir a cagar,<\/p>\n

several of the roommates would complain<\/p>\n

as the rotten egg smell<\/p>\n

would permeate the entire two-room shack.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

El R\u00e1pido was usually the first one to bed<\/p>\n

and the last one up.<\/p>\n

Every morning he was forced outside<\/p>\n

to take a piss since the others would always beat<\/p>\n

him to the lone stinking bathroom.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The only jale available<\/p>\n

for the farm workers this late<\/p>\n

en los brizales de marzo<\/p>\n

was la poda de la uva<\/p>\n

across the dry lomas<\/p>\n

in the lush vineyards<\/p>\n

of Paso Robles.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Brisa or no brisa<\/p>\n

El Sabio, a licensed piloto,<\/p>\n

would have the beat up carrucha<\/p>\n

ready for take off by 5:00 A.M.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cada madrugada,<\/p>\n

the other five campesinos<\/p>\n

would scramble out of the shack en chinga<\/em><\/p>\n

and jockey for a window seat.<\/p>\n

Nobody wanted to be called a ruca,<\/p>\n

grabbed assed and be forced to sit<\/p>\n

in the middle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The trunk filled with tijeras,<\/p>\n

navajas, bandejas,<\/p>\n

llantas and other spare parts<\/p>\n

was reserved for Huevos<\/p>\n

as a punishment for being<\/p>\n

slow at everything.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sabio would leave the trunk open<\/p>\n

and wait for Tanates to come<\/p>\n

and move all the shit around<\/p>\n

to make himself a nest<\/p>\n

amongst all the junk in the trunk<\/p>\n

before shutting la cajuela<\/p>\n

and starting the treacherous trip<\/p>\n

across the fogbound curvy valley roads<\/p>\n

leading to the sunny Central Coast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

El Sabio had driven<\/p>\n

no more than a few miles<\/p>\n

in zero visibility<\/p>\n

cuando se estrell\u00f3<\/em> head on<\/p>\n

con un semi que ven\u00eda a todo vuelo<\/p>\n

on the wrong side of the two lane highway.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

El pinche semi se trag\u00f3<\/em> a la mitad<\/em> de la carrucha.<\/p>\n

\u00bfQu\u00e9 les iba a quedar a los pobres?<\/p>\n

The lone CHP at the scene<\/p>\n

tir\u00f3 la goma<\/em> as he set up flares<\/p>\n

to signal the oncoming traffic.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the dead silence of the fog,<\/p>\n

the hairs on the back of his neck stood up<\/p>\n

as he listened more closely to the muffled<\/p>\n

cries and faint pounding coming from the trunk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Using a tire iron,<\/p>\n

he forced la cajuela open<\/p>\n

and found Ernesto Hernandez<\/p>\n

amongst the tijeras and bandejas.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carefully lifting him out of the mangled car,<\/p>\n

he moved Ernesto to the side of the highway<\/p>\n

out of harm\u2019s way and tried to question him<\/p>\n

about the horrific accident.<\/p>\n

Ernesto stuttered and stammered<\/p>\n

but was finally able to utter,<\/p>\n

-Me-me-me ethcap\u00e9 pol la pula thuerte!<\/p>\n

The patrolman radioed in that the lone<\/p>\n

survivor was in total shock and incoherent.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Puro Pedo<\/strong><\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fat Chuy had just started up his giant<\/p>\n

red, cotton-picking machine<\/p>\n

when he felt the first stomach rumblings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Pus qu\u00e9 chingados!,<\/p>\n

that pinche chile<\/p>\n

I ate last night<\/p>\n

is kicking my ass,<\/p>\n

he said to himself<\/p>\n

as he massaged<\/p>\n

his overgrown panza.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He let out a loud and smelly burp<\/p>\n

that forced him to use his hand<\/p>\n

to clear the air.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Chingado,<\/p>\n

that stunk a puro perro muerto,<\/p>\n

he said to himself<\/p>\n

as he slid up the gear lever and the giant machine<\/p>\n

lurched forward towards the unpicked cotton rows<\/p>\n

of Paso Robles Section 22<\/p>\n

on the Tulare Lake Bottom.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fat Chuy climbed down his machine en chinga and spent most<\/p>\n

of the morning break pujando and making strange faces in the<\/p>\n

portable toilet. Nothing but a few drops of yellow piss and a<\/p>\n

red face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Ya deja a la Manuela, one of his co-workers yelled as the crew<\/p>\n

of Chicanos made their way back to the picking machines.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Let\u2019s go, Chorro, hang up, another vato added.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Chale ese, he ain\u2019t got chorro, I think he\u2019s a tapado. Get it? A<\/p>\n

tapado, a third dude added as they all began to throw dirt clods<\/p>\n

at the portable, Mexican phone booth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fat Chuy finally came out todo sudado y ag\u00fcitado but not feeling<\/p>\n

any sense of relief.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Pinches vatos, como chingan, he said in disgust as he slowly<\/p>\n

climbed back onto his cotton picking machine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Around eleven, Fat Chuy turned on his headlights to signal the<\/p>\n

Okie foreman that he needed his attention.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The foreman quickly turned his Company pickup around and<\/p>\n

was climbing up Fat Chuy\u2019s ladder within minutes. The rest of the<\/p>\n

crew passed by rubbernecking as Fat Chuy kept gesturing and<\/p>\n

talking with his hands as the Okie foreman folded his arms over his<\/p>\n

chest, chin down and slowly moving his head from side to side<\/p>\n

in an effort to contain himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A few minutes later, Fat Chuy passed by in his car honking and<\/p>\n

making circles with his index finger to the rest of the crew to<\/p>\n

indicate that it was time to go home. The crew wondered what<\/p>\n

had happened. Since Fat Chuy had passed by honking and<\/p>\n

clowning around they all felt that it couldn\u2019t be too serious.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The rest of the morning the rest of the crew would gesture from<\/p>\n

their machines with their hands and head to ask each other<\/p>\n

what had happened to Fat Chuy. All would respond with their<\/p>\n

shoulders and hands that they had no idea what had happened.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

During lunch, the Okie foreman drove up, rolled down his<\/p>\n

window, and explained to the crew what had happened to<\/p>\n

Fat Chuy. Fat Chuy had mistaken a fart for the real thing and had<\/p>\n

squirted all over himself. He had made a quick run home to<\/p>\n

take a shower and change clothes. He also warned them about<\/p>\n

making fun of him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Now boys, I reckon it won\u2019t do any good for Chewey,<\/p>\n

the crew, or the Company for you guys to go \u2018round pestering<\/p>\n

him \u2018bout sometin that ain\u2019t none of your concern no how.<\/p>\n

You leave him be.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Okie foreman finished filling out the time cards for the<\/p>\n

morning hours worked by the Chicano crew and started up his pickup<\/p>\n

to go and have his lunch at the Company Ranch Cafeteria with all the<\/p>\n

other Okie foremen and supervisors.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fat Chuy got back around twelve-thirty, took down his lunchbox<\/p>\n

and coffee thermos, sat at his regular place amongst his co-workers<\/p>\n

and began to eat his lunch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-\u00bfQu\u00e9 te cagaste? one of the workers asked Fat Chuy as he took his<\/p>\n

first burrito bite.*<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Chale ese, Fat Chuy responded, Puro Pedo.**<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*\u201cDid you crap in your pants?\u201d one of the workers asked Fat Chuy as he took his first burrito bite.<\/em><\/p>\n

**\u201cNah, dude,\u201d Fat Chuy responded, \u201cThat\u2019s a bunch of bull.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ya Me Meo<\/strong><\/h3>\n

(I Gotta Take a Piss)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

El Tudy staggered off the chartered bus<\/p>\n

bien pedo reeking of pisto, hot links, cebollas<\/p>\n

and smoke. He tilted his head back, squinted his<\/p>\n

bloodshot eyes and wrinkled his runny nose as he tried<\/p>\n

to figure out where the hell the other forty<\/p>\n

something vatos disguised in Silver and<\/p>\n

Black were headed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEse Compa, he slurred and yelled into his right ear,<\/p>\n

\u00bfD\u00f3nde est\u00e1 el pinche toilido? Ya me meo.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been wanting to take a piss since Los Ba\u00f1os<\/p>\n

pero I hit a lucky streak en la jugada y ahora,<\/p>\n

ya me meo,\u201d he said as saliva slid down the side<\/p>\n

of his mouth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust go with the crowd, Tudy, no hagas pedo,\u201d<\/p>\n

his Compa yelled in his face as the hundreds of<\/p>\n

drunken Raider fans back slapped and high-fived<\/p>\n

each other as they pushed and shoved as the line<\/p>\n

noisily made its way to the Oakland Coliseum entrance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s going to win?\u201d a deep voice from the back<\/p>\n

of the line led the cheer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRaiders!\u201d fans answered in unison<\/p>\n

as they raised their arms in a Victory Salute.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s the men in Silver and Black?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRaiders!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u201d a different Raider fan asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRaiders,\u201d Tudy answered medio jotingo as he gingerly<\/p>\n

caressed his swollen beer belly and made a sickly face.<\/p>\n

\u201cChingado, ya me meo,\u201d he said to himself<\/p>\n

before he nearly tripped as he crossed the turnstile<\/p>\n

and was shoved by the flow of the excited crowd onto the<\/p>\n

escalator headed to the upper deck.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His Compa finally located Tudy by the stairs<\/p>\n

near Section 38B shielding his eyes with his hand<\/p>\n

to block the sun\u2019s glare as he looked for a toilido.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Compa, mira all\u00e1 abajo, way down there.<\/p>\n

I think that\u2019s the toilido down there y ya me meo.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll be right back,\u201d he slurred as he sprayed spit onto<\/p>\n

his Compa\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

-Chale Tudy, don\u2019t even try it, ese. You\u2019re in no<\/p>\n

condition to be climbing down these steep stairs,\u201d his<\/p>\n

Compa warned as he wiped the spit from his face.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThese pinche stairs ain\u2019t shit, Compa!\u201d Tudy answered<\/p>\n

as if he had been challenged to a pleito. \u201cI<\/p>\n

can climb down these pinches escalones blindfolded!\u201d<\/p>\n

Tudy said as he got to the edge and pretended to walk<\/p>\n

down the steep stairs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cC\u2019mon Compa, don\u2019t fuck around!\u201d his Compa yelled as he<\/p>\n

reached out to grab Tudy before he fell and hurt himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Another drunken Raider fan accidentally bumped Tudy from the back<\/p>\n

and Tudy started somersaulting en chinga down the steep cement<\/p>\n

stairs.
\n\u201cA la madre, Tudy!\u201d his Compa yelled out as vendors, fans and<\/p>\n

attendants flew out of Tudy\u2019s way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSECURITY, SECURITY, we have a Raider fan somersaulting down<\/p>\n

the stairs in Section 38B,\u201d one of the loudspeakers blared. \u201cMedic and<\/p>\n

ambulance, report immediately to the bottom of the stairs of<\/p>\n

Section 38B,\u201d the loudspeaker added after a few seconds.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His Compa and some of the camaradas from the chartered bus<\/p>\n

rushed down the stairs hechos madre to see how they could help<\/p>\n

once Tudy\u2019s lifeless body splattered at the base of the stairs near<\/p>\n

the fifty-yard line.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When the vatos finally made it to the bottom, they found Tudy\u2019s<\/p>\n

body sprawled on the floor like a police outline of a homicide case.<\/p>\n

The ambulance drove onto the field as die-hard Raider fans stood up<\/p>\n

throughout the Coliseum to see what all the commotion was about.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTudy! Compa! Talk to me, qu\u00e9 pinche aguite!\u201d his Compa<\/p>\n

pleaded to Tudy\u2019s lifeless body as the crowd of horrified vatos<\/p>\n

gathered around the sprawled body.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly, they all gasped when they noticed a slight twitch, then<\/p>\n

some more movement and to their astonishment, Tudy suddenly sat<\/p>\n

up and began to dust himself off and comb his hair with his smoke-<\/p>\n

stained fingers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By this time, while the vatos were trying to ask Tudy all<\/p>\n

kinds of questions, Tudy\u2019s pre-game show was being shown on<\/p>\n

the giant screen for the benefit of all Raider fans.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEse Tudy,\u201d his Compa finally asked, \u201cPues, \u00bfqu\u00e9 chingados pas\u00f3?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tudy tilted his head back, squinted his bloodshot eyes, wrinkled his runny nose and said as he started to walk to el toilido to take a piss,<\/p>\n

\u201cAs\u00ed me abajo cuando ya me meo.\u201d*<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*\u201dThat\u2019s the way I get down when I gotta take a piss.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Superman for a Day\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (It ain\u2019t what it\u2019s all cracked up to be) \u201cLook! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it\u2019s Superman!\u201d   Was all we needed to hear to drop everything and run en chinga to grab a front row seat on the cold linoleum floor in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[14,3,6],"tags":[12,49,8,9,13,30,10],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=451"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":461,"href":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451\/revisions\/461"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alternativepublications.ucmerced.edu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}